Aspirations of the Youth Player

We, as parents and coaches, need to keep in mind that youth sports are for children, not us. And I find it helpful to remind myself that all children are different and participate in sports for a variety of reasons. The reasons vary by age and personality. Obviously the high school player is going to have different reasons for playing than a 9 year old. Unfortunately, parents and coaches often don't recognize what the children want to get out of the sport. There are some common themes that apply at all levels including having fun, friendships, action, excitement, competition, variety and having a sense of organization, building skills and communication.


To me, children don't want to play if it's not fun and there is not a sense of enjoyment and fulfillment. Again, consider the personality and age of the player. A high school pitcher may think it's fun to practice as hard as he can in order to be successful. The competition is what's fun. For the 9 year old, the competition isn't as important. They are more interested in the action, excitement of playing and hanging out with friends rather than being cooped up in a house focusing on homework. Winning and losing most often means a lot more to the coach and parents than it does to the children.

All children want to be accepted and liked by their peers. Playing on a team gives children the opportunity to form friendships and interact with other children in a setting other than school. The team gives the individual child a group identity and a common purpose. It’s fun sharing the experience with their friends. Many children will only play because their friends are playing. This often is the main driver for involvement.

There is a certain faction of people that hold the belief that organized sports are boring to children. I disagree with this “blanket” statement because I believe it depends on the coach, manager and parents to incorporate variety and games to make the sport routine more enjoyable. When one child is hitting and the rest of the team is in the field shagging balls, you may have taken the fun out of the sport but it should allow you to see opportunity in making it more enjoyable. Try conducting many simultaneous or parallel stations to work on skills.

Boy, it would certainly be nice to still be living in an age when I grew 20-30 years ago in Western New York when your child could head off to the local sandlot or asphalt surface and meet his buddies for a game of baseball or stickball. The reality is that today’s parents won't allow it without supervision. Sometimes, organization can kill the fun. Children want variety and action. This is one reason why I incorporate games of stickball into my practice sessions and I stay out of the way of the “game” being played. The children want to develop different skills and they want to run around and have fun. A practice that keeps them moving, playing games, learning, and has a variety of activities, provides an environment that children will enjoy.

Children also love learning new skills. Case in point, just watch the smile and excitement on a kid’s face after making contact for the first time or catching a ball for the first time. As their skill level improves, the challenges must also increase. If they are not challenged, they will lose interest. This also can apply to adulthood activities!

Competition is likely the least favorite reason that children participate in sports. They don't enjoy competing against their peers, for the most part. I realize there are exceptions. Many children simply don't like the increased pressure of the competition that they feel from coaches and parents. It's that increased pressure that can take away from the enjoyment of the sport. From a parental standpoint, learning how to deal with competition and disappointment is important. However, please temper your enthusiasm and ensure that children aren't “pushed” into highly competitive situations where they either feel the pressure to perform or are not ready.

That said, it is important as a coach and parent that you realize that there are a variety of reasons that children play sports. Finding out what motives your child and players will help you develop a plan for the season that fits in with their desires. Congruity must exist. You’ll soon discover that your methods will provide a rewarding season.